wemblingfool:

standinthefire:

cousinnick:

bogleech:

Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particular bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while lying face down in the dirt

YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST PART THOUGH! HE WAS CRYING FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT IN CHARLES DICKENSEN´S YARD!!

WHERE HE HAD BEEN STAYING FOR WEEKS, LONG OVERSTAYING HIS WELCOME, AND WAS ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF DICKENS

Dickens: Where’s Anderson…?

*peeks out the window*

Anderson:

Dickens:

ataraxetta:

“You have to surrender to your mediocrity, and just write. Because it’s hard, really hard, to write even a crappy book. But it’s better to write a book that kind of sucks rather than no book at all, as you wait around to magically become Faulkner. No one is going to write your book for you and you can’t write anybody’s book but your own.”

— Cheryl Strayed
(via maxkirin)

magicianmew:

simonalkenmayer:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

kiranovember:

wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman:

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

hopelessromanticinspace:

cryoverkiltmilk:

squeeful:

ineptshieldmaid:

marzipanandminutiae:

feels-for-the-fictional:

satanpositive:

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple,
But one thing you’ve missed:
The concept of “purple”
Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names
For a color, you see.
Hence good old Homer
And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint,
A phrasing so old,
For verses of romance
Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red.
Violets once were called blue.
I’m hugely pedantic
But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong

About Homer’s wine-ey sea!

Colours are a matter

Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux

And meanings they drift

But the word purple

You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple,

My friends, is old

And refers to a pigment

once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs

From the wine-dark sea

You make a dye:

Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome,

to wear purpura

was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’,

for clothes so fancy,

Entered English

By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets

Not purple in song?

The dye from this mollusc,

known for so long

Is almost magenta;

More red than blue.

The concept of purple

is old, and yet new.

The dye is red,

So this might be true:

Roses are purple

And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry,
Tyrian purple dyes many a hue
From magenta to berry
And a true purple too.


But fun as it is to watch this poetic race
The answer is staring you right in the face:
Roses are red and violets are blue
Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Hirple – To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple – An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

My, how romantic!

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

This post has evolved.

I’M. FUCKING. DYING.

agayworthfightingfor:

shrineart:

ziamdynasty:

bittyblueeyes:

sherlock-hannibal:

Which do you prefer?

I prefer MasterChef Junior:

a wholesome post thank u

What’s best is I love all three portrayals, basically anything with this man in it he’s so precious.

UK Gordon Ramsay is dealing with sensible people and edible food. US Ramsay is dealing with people who have actual health code violations in their restaurants yet claim to be good chefs running an acceptable business. Masterchef Junior Ramsay is teaching kids how to cook. No fucking WONDER there’s a massive difference.